Wednesday, April 16, 2014

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO BUDGET AND EAT LIKE NO ONE ELSE SO LATER YOU CAN LIVE AND SHOP LIKE NO ONE ELSE???!!!???


It has been a few weeks or so since I have updated you all on my total money makeover debt journey.Well it pains me to think and type that not much has changed. I even feel a little stagnant at the moment.I am still saving my emergency fund, so I haven't been able to work on the debt snowball yet. I cannot wait to get to this point. I am in the process of renegotiating my student loan payment. Let me just say that this process is really getting on my last nerves. In one of my previous blog posts, I discussed how my living expenses exceeded the suggested 40% of my take home income. I do believe I am at a  STRONG 54% within my living expenses; which is RIDICULOUS. So my main focus was and still is to increase my income. Well I have been doing that. I work regular overtime and donate plasma to the plasma bank when I am not too exhausted from work. My job does not have guaranteed overtime hours, so some weeks it is hard for me to figure out just how much I am going to make. My budget can be extremely exhausting at times not having a consistent amount that I am going to bring in every month and or week. I try to budget every week, but these last three weeks have been pure slop. I have been so sloppy with my budgeting and spending that is ridiculous. I didn't budget the last two weeks, because I was working so much overtime and I tried to balance that with filming my youtube vlogs and blogging. If you notice I have been slacking on the blogging.I know that I should probably fill out Dave Ramsey's budgeting irregular income sheets vs the budgeting regular income sheets. Maybe that will help with some of the frustration. I made my own last month and it was torture

I also had been applying for jobs; all of which pretty much rejected my application to move foward with an interview process. Is it me or am I the only one who is scared to put my salary requirements of  40K or more on the application? I don't think that made much of a difference in the rejection process, but I just wanted to point out that it frightens me. I had to consult with two of my close friends before I was even confident enough to put my salary requirements on my application. This is nonsense I have a bachelor's degree and I am not even being considered. I am grateful that I have a job; but from a financial perspective I would really love to kick and scream. I would like to throw an even bigger temper tantrum than a spoiled 6 year old does in the grocery aisle after their mother says  that they will not be getting another package of candy after they just had 3 packages of lifesavers.  YES, I WANT TO THROW A 29 YEAR OLD TEMPER TANTRUM BECAUSE OF MY UNCERTAINTY IN TAKE HOME INCOME. I think I was so disappointed about those jobs rejecting me and having to work so much constant overtime just to stay afloat; that I subconsciously neglected my financial duties.

I also have been spending a lot of money on eating out. This past week I spent at least $50 on eating out and some cosmetics. I  really don't have an explanation. I wanted to eat something other than what I usually prepare and I wanted some new makeup. I purchased the cosmetics from the Dollar General so it was not terribly expensive, however I did not budget for these items. I also did not pay my full tithes this week or last week, so I feel extremely guilty. Tithing should always be the first priority and I did not make that a priority the last two weeks. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to complete my First Fruit offering. I only gave a small portion of it. I challenged myself to give all of it the month of April; but it won't be happening due to my budgeting negligence. I am not used to tithing and sometimes I feel angry that I not left with anything for myself after paying all my bills. I feel guilty sharing this because the Bible says we should be CHEERFUL GIVERS. I really am working on this, but I think its okay to be HONEST during this journey. I am sure I won't always feel this way. Years from now I will look back on this blog post and say, "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I USE TO FEEL LIKE THAT."  I long for those days. I also find it extremely hard not to shop for clothes and makeup when my job is to be a style and beauty influencer. I am feeling like I should I start a business account for these purchases and set a budget aside for these expenses, because I am not sure how I can really go on like this.

I still have to go grocery shopping this week and I going to try to stick to my $25 dollar budget. I guess I better get real creative with rice beans because that is what I will be having all week. I'll figure something out I always do. Last week I made an Afro-Caribbean stew inspired dish and a Qdoba rice bowl dish, so I will need to figure out something creative for this week. I can eat just about any rice and bean dish as long as cornbread is in the equation. Not to mention I am of Haitian decent; that is what I grew up on, so I need to get with the program QUICK.

I tried to budget a little yesterday, but it surely did compete with other things I had going on. I totally realized that I would be short again and would have to take that out of my back tithing that I had sat aside...THIS IS SO ANNOYING that I honestly have to quit this blog post. LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

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